How to Look Expensive: Confidence

As I've mentioned before, this series is about how to put forward the best, most polished image of yourself, while remaining within your budget. Today I want to talk about confidence. I think when life circumstances put us on on a tight budget, there are two possible attitudes we usually adopt. The first is "poor me, how can I expect to look half as good as so and so if I have nothing to spend!" This attitude usually includes some level of self-deprecation and a sense of defeat. The second possible attitude is much different. It is an attitude of can-do, belief in self, resourcefulness and creativity. It recognizes that money doesn't equal personal style, and that attitude is 75% of the equation in the image we project and how we are perceived by others.

So, needless to say, confidence is important. Very important. The funny thing is, when you need it the most it can seemingly vanish into thin air. Furthermore, you cannot be taught confidence, and you cannot generate the feeling just because you want it. But. But. The power is in your hands. The secret is to think the thoughts and go through the outward motions of confidence until yours is real. Let me give you a few techniques I use when I'm not feeling on top of the world.

Pre-preganancy. Obviously.

First, the mental aspect of confidence. I have found that it is helpful to keep a few basic things in mind when feeling less than my best. First, we each think of ourselves first. We are each the center of our own universe, in a sense, and it 's completely normal that our thoughts, actions, and words occupy us. Practical implication of this fact?  Personal insecurities which are magnified to the individual often are unnoticeable to others.

Second, I reflect on the reality that everyone has insecurities. Be it budget, weight, height, shyness or any of the other myriad things we torture ourselves about, no person is completely confident all of the time. I find this thought helpful because it minimizes and makes light of my own insecurities. I also try to remember that we experience others not as parts, but as a wholes, and this is how we come across to those we meet.

There is also the relational aspect of confidence. If I am feeling defeated, the easiest thing to do at work or at a party (or any social situation, really) is to retreat and avoid interaction. It is paradoxical, but one way that we can actually increase our own confidence (and appearance of confidence) is to affirm someone else. Extend an honest compliment to a co-worker. Engage the newcomer at the party in conversation; ask real questions about them and then really listen to their answers. Before you know it, a glow of pleasure and goodwill will be on your face, and there is nothing more attractive than that!

And finally, the physical aspect of confidence. Certain postures intimate self assurance, and I make a point to be conscious of my own body language. Stand with your shoulders back, chest up, and stomach in. Keep your chin up (trust me, this is more than a trite saying!). Smile. Make eye contact. Heck, throw a hand on that hip! Doing these simple things will give the appearance of confidence, and may actually increase the hormones associated with confidence and reduce those related to stress (check out this Harvard Business School article).

So, in conclusion, if you want to look your best, practice thinking and acting with confidence. You should radiate just as much self assurance in an Old Navy dress as you would in couture, on a bad hair day as a good one. You are beautiful and wonderfully made. Act like it!

How to Look Expensive: Respect Your Coloring

It's time for another How to Look Expensive! I hate to speak in negatives, but this one is actually more about what not to do (or at least give serious thought to before doing), specifically in the area of altering skin and hair color.

I'm a firm believer that God has created each of us with a beauty all our own, a beauty that mysteriously resonates with our own personality and individuality. As I've gotten wiser (which, funny enough, has coincided with my getting older), I've come to realize that we as women often do things that actually sabotage this beauty. We usually don't do it on purpose. We may not recognize that we have our own beautiful features to play up. Or we may see someone else and want to imitate her expression of beauty. Or maybe certain physical attributes have symbolic values that we have bought into (what, blondes really don't have more fun?!). Whatever the case, I'm here to tell you that to look the most polished version of yourself, especially while on a budget, you need to recognize what God gave you, and respect it.

The two areas where we get it wrong the most are altering skin tone and hair color. Let me explain. In our culture it is all the rage to be tan. And if you can get a tan, good for you, it probably looks great on you! But if you are very fair, and easily burn in the sun, embrace your light skin. It probably complements your hair color and your eyes. Repeatedly trying to get a tan naturally will just leave you...  red. Not a good look. And artificial tanners will more often than not leave you orangish, or at the very least an off shade of "darker."

Christina Aguilera. Hmm. I wonder if that tan is natural?
Images via here and here.

And now, the bigger issue, hair color. First of all, changing your hair color can cost lots of dollars initially and over the course of time. It is one of those things where upkeep is an absolute necessity to avoid looking raggle taggle.  I know some women who dye their hair at home, and it looks great. If you are one of these women, maybe you are in the wrong line of work (that's assuming you aren't a hair stylist!). In my own personal experience of many, many home dye jobs (I'm a glutton for punishment), the end result can be hit and miss. Why? Because with a box dye it's hard to achieve a look that is natural. To look natural, you need highlights and lowlights that mimic what occurs when hair is exposed to light.

And not just any color works for any person.  Each of us has either cool or warm undertones to our skin, and most people may be classified as a dark cool or warm or light cool or warm, depending on the  intensity of color that occurs in hair, eyes, and skin. It's very important to stay within either the cool or warm spectrum, and your range of intensity on this spectrum.

And finally, to get even more pessimistic on you, I have found (from personal use) that even many of the "cool" hair color box kits (ash blond, cool brown, etc, etc) eventually fade to... brassy. Brassy is a reddish "warm" color that flatters the skin tones of pretty much no one in the entire human race. So, just because you get the color right at the start, it may not last through very many washes and days in the sun.

I can hear you thinking, but what about... Yes, I know, there are some celebrities who can seemingly rock any color. Remember, these women have an entourage of hair, makeup, and lighting people (and dollars) devoted to making them look amazing. And let's not even get started on the use of photoshop. That being said, we do see the occasional celebrity flub that is either catastrophic, or just plain unflattering.

Courtney Cox is a dark cool naturally. The photo on the right is truer to her natural coloring. Looks better, don't you think?
Images via here and here.

So what am I going on about here? I guess just a long winded word of caution about how altering your coloring can effect your appearance. It can be done, and it can definitely be done well. Just make sure you take into account your budget and your starting point, primarily whether you have cool or warm coloring, and how light or dark your coloring is. Not sure what name to put on your natural look?  I wrote a post almost a year ago about coloring, but I think this post is better, both more exhaustive and clear on how to determine one's coloring.

How To Look Expensive: Invest in a Great Bag

Thank you for joining me for another installment of How to Look Expensive. Here it is: Invest in a great bag. And by "great bag" I mean a bag that you love, a bag that is made to last, a bag that is versatile, a bag that is classic without being boring, a bag that is functional. I admit, it's a tall order, especially if you are on a budget. That's why I want to make sure I have you convinced, and give you a few tips for success. Allons-y.

Arguments for a great bag. In the long run, buying a more expensive, high quality bag will save you money. There are bags in quality materials to be had for less than $130. Cheaper bags à la Target usually start around $30. If your budget is tight, $30 is $30, and I'm sure you don't want to keep shelling it out over and over as your bag wears out. Even if it is still functioning (i.e. the straps haven't broken), a poor quality bag will start looking raggedy and will not help you look expensive.

Another argument. A great bag will elevate the simplest of outfits. As long as the fit is good, Old Navy jeans and a Target tee will look like a million bucks when paired with a leather bag. And there is no reason not to keep a great bag for years; you may outgrow you favorite jeans, but a few extra pounds won't make a new bag necessary.

My great bag: a pebbled camel leather tote from Banana Republic, unfortunately no longer available.

Now for some tips to get you started and to help you make a smart purchase:

Be honest about how much space you need and what style suits your lifestyle. If you are a busy mom you will probably need something that allows you to go hands free from time to time, and provides enough space for all of the "mom stuff," like diapers and wipes.

Choose the color carefully. Look at the color story of your wardrobe, and  evaluate what would work best with with the majority of your wardrobe. If you wear mainly neutrals, a bright bag might be best for you, a statement piece that becomes part of your signature look. If you love patterns and colors, a neutral that complements your prominent color scheme might be the way to go.

Don't forget the hardware. I have a cool complexion, so I look best in silver, and therefore 95% of my jewelry is silver, stainless, or white gold. It just makes sense to keep things cohesive and choose a bag with compatible hardware. Also, pay attention to the quality of the hardware. Sometimes even leather bags with leather bag prices have cheap zippers, clasps, etc that can take away from the bag's overall appearance.

Pay attention to the material. Not all leather is created equal, and not all types of leather wear equally well. It helps to shop above your price range to get a feel (literally, sometimes) for the best quality, and then go from there. Also keep in mind that very smooth leather scratches more easily and therefore shows wear more readily. Conversely, pebbled or textured leather more discreetly absorbs wear and tear.

Avoid the bags that are prone to being "knocked off." You know the type, items like the ubiquitous Coach bag with the multidirectional c's. Best case scenario, you spend lots of money to look just like everybody else, worst case you are duped into buying a fake.

Avoid bags that are too "trendy." I don't mean that we all have to buy a classic Kelly bag. But. I would not spend $100 plus on a leather bag in a neon color. Unless you love neon colors in and out of their trendy phases. You have to know yourself and what you really like.

If your budget is very tight, and a leather bag is simply out of the question, I would look for a canvas or nylon bag with leather straps. Straps and handles are the first locus for wear. No matter how good a PU bag is you can almost always tell that it isn't genuine leather by the cracking and splitting that occurs on the handles.

And there you have it! Come see me Friday for my seven favorite bags on a budget!

How To Look Expensive: Embrace Neutrals

If you are just joining us on the series How to Look Expensive, let me give you a quick recap (and see here for the previous post). This series is about being the most put together and polished version of yourself, without breaking the bank. So, onward!

Today's bit of wisdom is simple.  Embrace neutrals. Neutrals are great for lots of reasons. They are timeless, anonymous (if you can't afford designer labels this can be a plus), elegant, grown up, and even a bit mysterious. Neutrals are also difficult to mess up. Think of the little black dress. It's popularity has a reason! And for the girl on a budget, neutrals can be mixed and matched with each other, and with the color of the moment, helping to get the most for your wardrobe dollars.

Some chic takes on rocking the neutral. But remember, when thinking neutrals, don't just dream in black and white. You might be best in brown, beige, sand or navy!
Images via 1 // 2 // 3 

You may hesitate to take my advice on this one, because you don't want to be "boring" or "blah." I am not suggesting that you subtract non-neutral colors from you wardrobe, not at all. But do know your best neutrals, and build your wardrobe from those. And don't be afraid to try an outfit that is all neutrals. No fear ladies, no fear!

Just in case you need a little more convincing, let's do a mental exercise. If I asked you to name some of the 20th century's most stylish women, who would be on your list? I guarantee that Coco Chanel, Audrey Hepburn, and Jacqueline Kennedy are on the lists of most. These style icons are just three of the many who embraced neutrals and were anything but dull, drab, and boring. In fact, they have come to represent three truly unique ways of being chic.

So next time you are headed out and don't know what to wear, humor me and experiment with a neutral heavy look.

Because I know how much everyone loves visuals, here's a look I wore recently.
LBD: Liz Lange Maternity //Camel clutch: vintage (thrifted)

How To Look Expensive: The Rule of Three

You may remember that some time ago we talked about fashion personality. You may also remember that one of the generically defined personality types is "Classic." I just want to clarify so there isn't any confusion in terms: Our goal here is not to transform your personality into the Classic type, but to help you be the classiest version of yourself. In fact, if you haven't done the fashion personality exercise, I recommend that you hop over to that post. To be the best version of your self, you first need to find out who you are!

That being said, I'm about to lay it on you, the first guideline of many, in no particular order, of "looking expensive." This guideline is about how to put colorful outfits together while keeping it classy, because patterns and color take more thought than going monochromatic. But that's obvious, so here it is...

THE RULE OF THREE COLORS: In the creation of an outfit, use three colors. A pattern counts as one "color." If you want more color, add it via a  non-foundational element, such as small pair of earrings. 

Why is this a good guideline, you say? To the human eye, there is something pleasing about things in three's. Limiting something to three gives it a look that it is unified enough to be visually cohesive, and therefore the mind can wrap around the "concept" of the outfit. Yet three is diverse enough to create visual interest, and "contrast excites the intellect."

image via  // Jenna Lyons via // Miroslava Duma via

Do I sound crazy? Put it to the test. Open your eyes to the outfits around you that just seem to "work." You'll notice this "rule" on the runway, in the best of the street style images, in celebrity style, and lookbooks. And awesome plus side? You can get started with this one right away, using the items already in your wardrobe!

How To Look Expensive: An Introduction

I have decided that I want to devote one or several posts to "How to Look Expensive," or how to look like you spend more on clothes than you really do. We covered some basics in the Budget Wardrobe Building series, but I want to get even more fundamental and talk in terms of creating individual outfits.

This series is for all who read this blog. For the broke college students, and the often equally broke new grads trying to break into a profession. For the moms trying to live balanced, beautiful lives amidst lots of responsibility and not so much money. For the white collar wife whose husband's above average salary is offset by eight children, student loans, and her decision to stay home and raise said children. This series is for all of these smart women who need to look good but can't or won't break the bank to do so.

This series isn't about keeping up with the Joneses. This series isn't about being a snob, or about ditching your fashion personality to become this lady:

source

No offense, Jackie. It is about being the best grown up, classy, elegant version of yourself. Interested? Stay tuned for more!