Top Tips for the Postpartum Lady

Happy Friday, everyone! Today I am guest posting over at Stethoscopes, Style, & Grace. The topic?Tops that are postpartum friendly. I'll give you a little taste of what I'm talking about:  

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The Pin Tuck: A pin tuck is a very narrow narrow tuck, or pleat, used as ornament in a garment. When used below the neckline of a top, the result is a slight gathering of fabric that flows into a looser fit through the middle to the bottom hem. This can be flattering because you aren't swallowed up in the garment thanks to the tucks, but it is more generous through the midsection.

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The Slouchy Sweater: This is the sweater that has a slouchier, looser cut. Some versions are rather cropped, others are longer and may be called tunic sweaters. A bit of slouch can hide a multitude of lumps.

For four more flattering styles, head on over to Stethoscopes, Style, & Grace!

Seven Quick Takes for the Petite Lady

According to the infallible information source known as Wikipedia, roughly 40% of American women fall into the clothing category of petite (i.e. 5'3" or shorter). Though I myself am 5'7", I come from a long line of petite women, the tallest among them reaching the bold height of 5'2". And do you know what? In all my months of posting about personal style, I have not once thrown a petite specific post your way, loyal readers. So here goes, some style tips for the petite lady.

The objective of dressing for the petite woman, and any other, is to give the illusion of a longer line and create proportion, ultimately to draw the eyes to the face. Here are a few pointers on how to do just that.

Tops:

Make sure your bra is keeping the girls up high, where they should be!

Show some skin around the neck and décolleté, to lengthen the neck and draw the eye to your face.

For cold weather coats worn with skirts and dresses, choose one the same length or
slightly longer than your hemline.

For blazers, try those with one button that hits just below the bust-line.


Bottoms:

Keep hems just above the knee, never right through the center of the knee.

Remember that pinstripes elongate.

Try pants with a crease to create the illusion of length.


And on the very bottom - Shoes:

Try those with a pointy toe or a narrower/elongated toe box.

Show as much of the foot as possible.

Be mindful of creating a harsh visual break with ankle straps. Not all ankle straps are equal in this regard, so try them on with an open but critical mind.

I decided to add the shoe pointers in there, which brings us to more than seven quick takes, so... Bonus! 

Have a great weekend!

A Reader Inquires: Color Analysis

Recently a reader asked this question: 

How did you work out your best neutrals - you seem to go for black, navy and gray - do you do the cool/warm thing? Or just pick what you like? 

Well.... A bit of both actually. Before I knew anything about color analysis, I almost always opted for black, navy, and gray. Then when I became more learned in the art of dressing well, I realized that this was probably a result of the reality that I actually do look my best in those colors. Do you see what I mean? I intuitively gravitated toward that which was the most flattering. Now that I am trained in color analysis, I know that my coloring (hair, eyes, and skin taken into account), would be classified as dark cool, and these are the neutrals that best complement my complexion.

Discussions on color in relation to fashion tend to focus exclusively on color as trend, so I'm guessing that some of you readers haven't heard much about color analysis. So what is color analysis?

Color analysis, also referred to as seasonal color analysis, or skin tone matching, is the practice of determining a person's underlying skin tones and the colors that look most flattering against these tones. Color analysis operates from the principle that all people, regardless of hair, eye, or skin color have either blue or yellow undertones as the foundation of skin color. These undertones dictate if a person has cool or warm coloring, respectively, and indicate which color palette (i.e. cool or warm) is most flattering to the wearer. Furthermore, most people can be classified as dark cool or warm or light cool or warm, depending on the intensity of color that occurs in hair, eyes, and skin. 

So, are you interested in finding your best colors? Here are a few simple steps to get the process of self discovery started.

Look at the veins on the inside of your wrist. A bluish cast means cool, greenish means warm.  If you can't distinguish one or the other, don't worry. Try this:

Find two articles of clothing, one bright pink, one bright orange. Remove any makeup and pull your hair back. Stand in front of a mirror in natural light, and first hold the pink up under your chin. Take a look, then try the orange. One will accentuate your wrinkles and give you a sickly look, the other should make your skin almost glow. If you are having a difficult time being objective, ask a friend for her opinion. If pink is best you are cool, if orange you are warm.

If you are still having doubts, find something silver and something gold. Alternate holding each piece against your skin, and see which looks better. Silver looks best on cool complexions, gold on warm.

If you are getting inconsistent results, you could have coloring that is considered neutral. Like my husband, you are one of the few who looks good in both warm and cool colors (though you may lean more toward one of the palettes). If this is you, consider yourself lucky!

Once you have determined that you are warm or cool, take this next step to determine where your complexion falls on the spectrum of the palette.

For cool complexions, do the mirror test with something bright pink, and something light pink.

For warm complexions, do the mirror test with something bright orange, and something cream or coral.

If the lighter color is more flattering than the darker one, you have a light cool or a light warm complexion.

So what's all this mean, practically speaking?

If you are warm, choose colors that have a golden or yellow base - orange, coral, peach, olive green, khaki, and warmer reds. Cream, brown, and tan are your best neutrals if you have stronger coloring. If your complexion is light, lighter browns, camel, beige, and cream will probably be your most flattering neutrals.

If you are cool, choose colors with a blue base - purples, pink, mint, and greens such as turquoise and emerald. White, black, navy and gray are your best neutrals. If you have a lighter cool complexion, black, navy, and white may look harsh. Instead, try charcoal gray, lighter grays, and bone as your neutrals. 

And if you love colors that aren't in your palette, just wear them away from your face!

Spring Wear for Moms

Yesterday I received a really nice comment from a reader - you know who you are - about an old post entitled How Mama Got Her Groove Back (Part II). Long forgotten, I clicked back to see what I would think of something that I did at the very start of this blog. Actually, the advice was really good and practical (if I sound surprised, it's only because I have a tendency to look back and realize how much I didn't know). I almost reprinted it here, but you can just click on the link above if you want to read it.

That same kind reader asked if I had any updates I would make on this "mom dressing" list of sorts. Well, I think everything I said still stands. I still believe wrap dresses are universally flattering, and a blazer and a great bag can elevate the easiest of outfits. So what I thought I would do for today's post is give you a new, current visual of a practical, beautiful "momdrobe" for spring.

V-Neck Tees / Blazer / Blouse / Chambray Top / Jeans / Ankle Pants / Skirt
Dress / Earrings / Watch / Sunglasses / Flats / Heels / Bag

All of these items can be mixed and matched, meaning a few pieces will yield a variety of outfits. And this wardrobe could take the busiest mom from day at home to grocery shopping to date night. Bonus? All of the items are also nursing and postpartum friendly!

These Pants: A Love Song

I love these pants. 

Why?  Let me count the ways... 

First, the cut. Slim, but not too slim. Waist not super low. Hemmed just above the ankle. All in all a fresh and current look.

Second, they are versatile; they go great with flats, heels, loafers, tall boots. This fact makes them a perfect winter-to-spring transition piece. And they can run the range of casual to dressed up.

Third, the fabric. It has a degree of stretch that is both flattering and comfortable. Machine washable wrinkle resistant, and quick drying. I want to take a trip to Europe just so I can pack these pants. Also,  I have washed my pair about six times and they look just like they did the day I purchased them (no small feat for an item from Old Navy). 

Fourth, they are inexpensive. At full price only $34.95, I paid a mere $25. Today I clicked on the website and a 30% off code popped up immediately.

Fifth, the variety. Currently I only have the black (black is sort of my thing), but they come in eleven colors and patterns. Eleven.

And before I bid you adieu, I want to say one quick thing about the sizing. It's messed up. And by that I mean really inconsistent. I was one size in a blue pair, and a different in the black. So if you check these out, try on several pairs, and don't let it ruin your day if you don't end up with the size you expected.

Linking up with The Moxie Wife's Five Favorites. Head on over for more favorites!

Tips for Dressing Postpartum

I've received a few requests to write a post on dressing after the birth of a baby. And I wanted to oblige, I really did. But sometimes when you're in the trenches of this or that phase it can be hard to catch your breath, calm your emotions and see the forest for the trees. And if there is any stage of motherhood that can throw one for a loop, its the postpartum one. Milk comes in, the nether regions are, um, sore, emotions are running high, and then... the tummy. The tummy that looks like a partially deflated basketball. It's enough to make the strongest among us weep. 

And then I remembered that almost a year ago, my friend Sarah over at Mommy Notes asked me to write a guest post on the topic of dressing postpartum. I'm reprinting a portion of it here for you and me both!

Scarf // Sweater // Wayfarers // Aviators // Drawstring Pants // Jeans // Tote // Wrap Top

Start with a good foundation. A correctly fitting bra is key. It keeps the girls up high and gives you a smooth base to build on. Another key foundational element is either a belly binder, or some type of shape wear. Whichever you choose, the key is compression. By binding the tummy area, you are giving your core muscles support, while "reminding" them of their correct position and aiding in good posture. And, bonus, it conveniently tucks things in for a slimmer silhouette. There are many, many options out there. I found several promising products at the lower end of the belly band price range;  check here and here.  As far as regular shape wear, Assets (by Spanx) and Suddenly Skinny (both available at Target) have offerings in the $15.99 - $36.00 range, and have good customer reviews.

Now that we have covered the intimates, a few general word on styles. For tops, try on styles that have a looser fit (not to be confused with styles meant to be fitted but worn too big) such as slouchy sweaters, or the breezy pin tuck. Wrap tops and dresses can be very flattering, as can tops with ruching, or an interesting pattern that confuses the eye (such as the chevron). Maxi dresses with an empire waist can be very flattering and comfortable; halter styles make nursing a cinch, as do some with spaghetti straps or v-necks (look for a fabric that has the ability to stretch). While I recommend dresses with an empire waist, be careful about shirts of this cut. They can look very dated and frumpy (not what we're going for here). Such tops are also often too long; you don't want the hem to fall on the widest point of your thighs. This screams, "Look here, everybody!" Again, not what we're after.

As for bottoms, you are probably ready to get back into your pre-pregnancy jeans. Don't rush this! Even if you lose the weight quickly, it can take your hips longer to come back to their original position (hey, they did just make room to let Jr. out!). My suggestion is to get a pair of drawstring shorts or comfy linen pants. Also, do buy a pair of jeans that fit you! It's easy to convince ourselves that we should just wait it out rather than "waste" the money, but jeans that fit are cheaper than a nervous breakdown ("I feel ugly!" "I have nothing to wear!" You catch my drift.). Old Navy has inexpensive jeans in a variety of cuts. I have found that a straight or boot cut in a dark wash is the most flattering option if you have any substance to your butt / hips / thighs.  Avoid anything too low rise; do you know the muffin man?

And finally, if your budget allows, I recommend a few "feel good no matter what size I am" items. A great pair of sunglasses is an easy way to feel chic and pulled together. Use the principle of balance by opposite. If you have an angular face, choose rounded rims. A rounded face? Go with a more angular frame. Still not sure? Try the aviator; it looks good on most. A beautiful bag will class up the simplest of outfits. Don't feel like you have to go with a traditional diaper bag. There are many totes out there that have plenty of pockets and space to meet your diapering needs! And finally, a statement necklace or scarf in a bright color draws the eye up to your lovely face, right where it should be! Scientifically, yellow and red catch the eye more than other colors, but any bold color will suffice. 

And Here We Are, Seven Weeks Later

The other day I put on a nice oxford shirt, and my three year old son noticed immediately, "Mom, are you going to the doctor's today?" Me: "No. Why?" He glanced at my shirt and repeated the question. 

Point taken.

I haven't done an outfit post in weeks and and weeks. Mainly because most of my clothes just don't fit; my maternity wear is too big, and my pre-maternity wear is too small. And the outfits that I have been rocking are very, um, basic.  Like this one below. Sweatshirt, jeans, flats.

Post partum is just difficult. I'm caught between two extremes. On one hand I just want to go into my closet and throw out all the things. Pants that don't button. Shirts that gape and pull. Things that are impossibly tight. I want different clothes and I want them now.

On the other hand... Experience tells me that things will eventually get back to my normal, or at least pretty close to it. And then I won't want a wardrobe of items that are two sizes too big. 

The problem is, a girl's got to get dressed today.

My solution is to find a few inexpensive hardworking pieces, and work them until more of my old items fit. I purchased some looser fit tops several weeks ago, a pencil skirt two weeks ago, and I'm hoping to get a new pair of jeans this weekend, probably from Old Navy (can't beat their prices and selection).

The Outfit:

This crew sweatshirt is really forgiving to the tummy area because of it's thicker fabric and boxier cut and is currently on sale for $4.97 (plus another 10% off online today only with the code ONSAVENOW)! Speaking of cut, if you are trying to hide a little pooch, I've learned that it is better to choose tops that are forgiving because of cut and not size. A more forgiving cut in your correct size = flattering. A very form fitting cut just worn two sizes too big = unflattering. 

Mossimo Skinny Jeans (similar)

Banana Republic Factory Flats (similar and similar)

Back to Basics: Creating Proportion

Today I want to talk about dressing for proportionality. As we mentioned when discussing body type, proportionality is pleasing to the eye, and it draws the eyes of the beholder to the face (because no one part is "sticking out" so to speak). The only problem with proportionality is... most of us aren't! What's a girl to do? Why, create the illusion of proportionality, of course! 

This is actually easier than it sounds. The first step is knowing your measurements and your body type. This info is power. You need to know where your volume naturally occurs in order to balance it out. For example, if you are a pear shape, your natural volume is in your lower body. To create the illusion of proportionality you want to minimize your lower body's appearance while creating artificial volume on top. If you are an apple shape, the opposite is true. If you are an hourglass or a box, you can also use these principles to maintain proportionality and create the illusion of a more feminine figure (by "creating" a waist). 

The second step, creating volume, can be done actually (such as in the fabric and construction of a garment) or merely visually. Consider these easy pointers:

Manipulate the placement of COLOR in your ensembles.

          - Light colors add artificial volume and draw the eye

          - Sheen adds volume

          - Dark colors de-emphasize or streamline (because they recede)

          - Monochromatic dressing streamlines

          - The eye is drawn to the point where contrasting colors meet. Avoid meeting contrasting colors 

            at your widest points.

Manipulate the placement of LINE in your ensembles

          - Horizontal lines (stripes, zippers, etc) can add artificial volume, but....

          

          - One strong horizontal line across the narrowest point of the waist can be flattering

          - A hemline draws attention, so think about where they fall. Unless you want legs to look wider, 

            avoid skirts that cut across the widest part of the calf or thigh (!) and long tops / jackets that hit the      widest part of the hips

          - Vertical and diagonal lines streamline

          

Manipulate the placement of PATTERN in your ensembles

          - Pattern adds artificial volume, especially high contrast patterns (i.e. black on white versus charcoal on light grey)

          - Solids (relative to pattern) streamline

Manipulate the placement of TEXTURE and STRUCTURE in your ensembles

          - Thicker naps can add artificial volume

          - Cowls and collars can add volume, so do pleats and some pockets - place accordingly!

image created via

And now for a few examples. The first dress in this image would work well for a Pear body type because the bottom is sleek, while the top adds volume via the garment's structure, i.e. the draped fabric. Going monochromatic is also slimming in general.

The second dress would work well for an Apple body type, someone who carries their weight in their upper body. The garment's upper body is slim and sleek while providing enough bosom coverage, and the bottom uses structure (the pleats), pattern (contrasting lines), and color (the brightest line at the widest point) to create a sense of volume.

The third dress would work well for a Box body type, because the contrasting color and pattern placement create the illusion of curves, and most especially a defined waist.

And finally, the fourth dress would work well for an Hourglass figure. The contrasting belt draws in the fabric to accentuate the waist, and to create a focal point that highlights the silhouette's proportionality.

De-frumpifying the Third Trimester

Today I'm honored to be guest posting over at This Felicitous Life on the above mentioned topic. I'll give you a hint - it's all about affordable stylish staples. Head on over and check it out. Meet me back here tomorrow :)

Back to Basics: Body Type

As promised last week, today we're talking style basics, specifically, body type. It goes without saying that every body is different, and categorizing such a diverse reality is difficult. Since this is a blog post, and I can't meet all of you individually, we're going to keep it real simple, and hopefully clear. Once you have the general principles down, you can work within them and from them to get a real grasp of your own unique silhouette as it appears to others.

So first, a brief explanation of body type and a listing of the four basic types (some people use a system of six or more types, but I'm giving you the four most recognized and most useful classifications). Body type is related to proportion, specifically one's bust, waist, and hips in relation to one another, and also one's weight loss and gain patterns (i.e. where you lose last and gain first, and vice versa). Body type is not size. You can be a size 2 or a size 20, and be any of the four body types.

The four basic types are Pear, Heart, Box, and Hourglass. Each body type has the general silhouette of the name that identifies it. For greater clarification, the characteristics of each are as follows: 

PEAR: A pear shape is characterized by a proportionally larger lower body. The pear shaped person may or may not have narrow or sloping shoulders that add to this appearance of disproportion between upper and lower body. Weight is carried in the lower body, and is usually gained in the hips, thighs and buttocks first, and lost there last. 

HEART: A heart shape is characterized by a proportionally larger upper body, as a result of broad shoulders and/or a fuller bust, and a narrow waist and thinner legs. Weight is usually carried in the middle.

BOX: A box shape is characterized by bust (or possibly shoulder), waist, and hip measurements that are nearly identical. This body type has no clearly defined waist.

HOURGLASS: An hourglass shape is characterized by bust and hips that are evenly proportioned to  one another, and to the waist. The hourglass shaped person will usually gain and lose weight evenly in her upper and lower body. 

Substitue the word "BOX" for "BANANA"  // image via

Now to determine one's own body type. There are many online body type "calculators" and formulas to determine one's body type. After trying various methods, I have found that the simplest, most productive way to determine one's basic body shape is as follows (this is as taught to me by Mary at ISY Fashion and Communication):

First, take your measurements au naturel. Use a flexible tape measure and measure around your bust at its widest point, your waist at its narrowest point, and your hips by going around the largest point of the buttocks.

image via

Next, ask yourself these questions. Is your hip measurement two inches or greater than your bust? If so, stop reading these questions and skip ahead, because you have a PEAR shape. If not, is your bust measurement two inches or greater than your hip measurement? If so, then stop reading. You have a HEART shape. If you have answered "no" to both questions, and your hip measurement is eight inches greater than your waist, you have an HOURGLASS body type. If your hip measurement is less than eight inches greater than your waist, you are a BOX body type.

Keep in mind that each of our bodies is more than our bust, waist, and hip measurements. Some have long arms, a short neck, narrow shoulders, long legs, a short torso, etc, etc; we are each made of a unique combination of these elements. Any one of these other body elements (though some more than others), can alter the way the eye perceives an overall body shape. Once you have determined your basic body shape, consider these secondary aspects to get the fullest picture of your silhouette.

Okay, so now you know which category you fall into, but you may still be wondering why knowing your body type is important to dressing well and looking your best. Well, the human eye finds proportionality pleasing. Furthermore, if a figure is proportionate, no one individual feature is highlighted and the face remains the focal point. This is a good thing, ladies!  Yet, very few of us have a "perfectly" proportioned figure. So what's a girl to do? Create the illusion of proportion through dress! Knowing  one's body type helps us know what to minimize and what to maximize to achieve this illusion.

Join me next week for some style basics on how to use line, color, print, and texture to "create" proportion. 

And P.S. This recent post from Garance reminded me how common it is for us women to idealize a body type that isn't our own, especially at the expense of our own. Why does that damn grass always have to seem greener...

Back to the Basics

image via

Couldn't style be defined in the same way?

Real style is about being comfortable, not the stretchy pants type of comfort, but the more profound at ease type. At ease because you have intentionally put yourself together. You've acknowledged both what you love and what you dislike about your appearance, and highlighted one while downplaying the other.  At ease because you've been honest and respectful regarding what God gave you. At ease because you refuse to play the denial game. And at ease because you like what you are wearing, because it is true to your personality and your life.

It sounds so great doesn't it, this being at ease, this forgetful elegance that is the opposite of self-absorption and vanity? So how does one get there? Is it just the gift of a few?

Not at all! Style, while imbued with elements of instinct, is actually quite rational. Once broken down into its basic elements, it can be mastered and modified as the different stages of life play out. So, in this instance, knowledge really is power.

Over the next few weeks, I think it would be a good idea to revisit these basics of style, the elements of body type, coloring, and personality. In the words of Coco Chanel, "Fashion changes, but style endures." So let's talk about it.

Pregnancy Style Tip #37: Pursue Ponte

What is ponte, you say? Ponte (pronounced "pon-tee") is a double knit fabric that can be composed of various materials in different ratios. Some common components are cotton, polyester, viscose, rayon, and spandex.

And why should you pursue it? Well, it has some great characteristics, especially for the childbearing body. It is slightly structured, it has a bit of stretch, it resists wrinkles, holds color, wears well, is of medium weight, and most importantly... it is oh so figure flattering! The combination of give, structure, and fabric weight works perfectly to disguise those bumps and bulges we all (pregnant or not) know too well.

My first experience of of ponte was actually this dress, which isn't maternity, but I was able to wear well into this pregnancy. And then, about four weeks ago, I found the Gap Maternity dress you see me "modeling" (smile) below.  You might be questioning whether I am the best source on bump and bulge management because, admittedly, pregnancy isn't too unkind to me. But. But. I do have scoliosis (a curvature of the spine) and all that thickening that occurs in the middle accentuates the differences in my hips and makes me look lumpy and lopsided.

The Outfit: Dress: Gap Maternity ("new with tags" from a local consignment shop, but there are lots of similar options on ebay) // Black Tights: Target // Angora Snood: DIY here // Bracelet: DIY here

So next time you are shopping, pregnant or not, do a little search for "ponte" and see what you find. Okay, and I can't help but pointing out a couple of cute finds. This ponte skirt dress from Gap (take 40% off today only with the code SWEET16), this classy Liz Lange dress, perfect for dressing up or down, and for those of you who can't get enough stripes, this super steal from Merona. 

DIY: Chrome Cord Bracelet

Yesterday, I was looking for some batteries and I came across this chrome beaded chain (I think my husband bought it awhile back to replace a light pull in the basement). And I love it. It's so shiny. So chic. 

So I decided to make a bracelet out of it. And it was the easiest DIY. Ever. All you have to do is connect the end of the chain with the connector, and then wrap it around your wrist over and over. You can let it be a bit loose, or do as I did and kind of loop the excess around on the underside of the wrist to give it a snug fit.

Wear it alone. Or layer it. And guess what? It makes a great necklace too, again, alone or layered with a strand of pearls and whatever else you have on hand. You can see how I layered mine on Instagram (find me, I'm mboctor).

Project Supplies: 

Beaded Chain w/ Connector. The piece I used was about 9ft long. Home Depot sells it in 3ft and 12ft lengths for $2.97 and $5.98, respectively. Our local hardware store also carries it, and it is even cheaper. It is available in Chrome and a gold toned Brass finish. 

Directions: 

Connect the ends. Wrap around your wrist. 

Pregnancy Style Stealers

There are certain style quandaries that arise with pregnancy. Some of the them sneak up on a mama-to-be because they happen so gradually, others are shocking and impossible to ignore. Since I am currently in the throes of pregnancy number four (!), I can both commiserate and share some wisdom that I've gained over the last six years. If I had to sum up this advice, I would lay it out something like this: 

Don't abandon your own style. This can be a real temptation especially if maternity wear options are limited in your area, or your budget is very tight. Resist! Make boards on Pinterest of maternity fashions that you actually like, and try to get creative using what is available to you.

Be careful of too short shirts.  This style stealer is a sneaky one; it can happen soooo quickly!

Be careful of fabric that is too thin. I occasionally find a find or two at Old Navy, but this week when I stopped by their maternity section the shirts were borderline transparent. Transparent. The childbearing body is beautiful, but nothing makes me more uncomfortable than every bump and bulge being on display, as is the case with dresses made of too thin fabric. Too thin tops also look cheap, in more ways than one....

Be careful of the plunging neckline. A lot of maternity clothing employs the plunging neckline because it is easier for nursing post birth, because women want to flaunt their new pregnancy "assets" (I can hear you thinking, "I'm only an A cup, this doesn't apply to me." I say, for now you are an A cup. Milk, it does a body good..), and because some space in a collar line can be really flattering and effective in drawing the eye up. But. These necklines, on a person in motion, can be very revealing and uncomfortable. Constantly adjusting to prevent a wardrobe malfunction is not stylish. And as far as nursing goes, I never found it that difficult to accomplish in "regular" shirts.

Be careful of pulling and gapping in shirt buttons. This advice is along the same vein as the previous two points. Bigger girls can leave one prone to unintentional peep shows when shirts just won't stay closed. I always check this aspect before buying. It's a deal breaker.

Avoid maternity jeans with "feathering" across the thighs. Lighter embellishments and/or horizontal lines draw negative attention to the widest point of the leg. Since most of us don't gain just a belly as pregnancy progresses, maternity jeans in a dark wash with no feathering is the most slenderizing way to go.

Invest in some good undergarments. Avoid lines and "spilling over" by wearing the proper size undergarment. I know it can be a difficult fact to face that one's underwear just doesn't fit the way it used to, but as the saying goes, the truth will set you free. For special occasions that involve dresses and skirts, invest in a pair of these for a seamless look. I'm absolutely serious.

Men's Life and Style

First Date - Casual

by Vince Granado

Greetings all, Vince here again. I want to talk to all the single men out there. This post is really for you, so you’re welcome. This post is about how to dress for your first date. I am writing this in the context of a casual date (i.e. coffee/tea shop, walk in the park, casual brunch) which I believe all first dates should lean towards. So if you are planning on going to some fancy, Michelin star restaurant then wait for my next post.

So here you are, you’ve worked up the courage to get out of your seat and approach the young lady you’ve been staring at all day in the coffee shop/class/office/whatever. You may have said something along the lines of...

Hi there, my name is (insert name), I really like that book/painting/software program/coffee beverage too. I know this is a bit forward, but would you like to meet for coffee/a drink/book reading/laser tag/dinner/etc. on Friday? Really? Geez, that’s great, see you then.

Congrats, you’ve manned up and have succeeded 90% of the male race today.

Friday is a few days away (in this theoretical date world) and now might be a good time to take a step back and look at your personal style. However, I strongly warn against redefining your style at this point. If you are a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, don’t go out and buy a bespoke three piece suit. Be yourself... but just be a little better. Let me explain. The girl you just asked out just said yes to you and not to some super- enhanced, superficial, GQ, quasi-you that rushes into the room in a dinner jacket and performs a dazzling song and dance routine a la Gene Kelly. She checked you out, thought about it for a bit and decided that she fancies you enough to spend her entire evening/morning/afternoon with
you.

That’s right... you.

That does not give you the liberty to roll up in your ratty old flannel and mud-covered work boots. It means you take what you have, shine it up and/or make some refined modifications. For example – t-shirt and jeans guy I’m talking to you – ditch the t-shirt and throw on a washed, slim fit oxford cloth shirt. It’s still comfortable and I promise you will look great for the lady.

Whatever you end up wearing on the first date, wear with confidence. Nothing looks better on a man than that.

Still have questions? I made a table to make it easier for you. Keep in mind that these refined looks are available in most price ranges; it's the style, not the price, that's important.

Refine: Oxford Shirt (Old Navy, $29)

Refine: Shawl Sweater (American Eagle, $49) // Docker's Slim Cargo Pants (Nordstrom, $78)

Refine: Slim Fit Flannel (Club Monaco, $80) // Slim Fit Cords (Scotch and Soda, $119) 

Refine: Armani Jeans Slim Fit Polo (Van Mildert, $140) // Slim Chino (Mango, $60)

Five Favorite Basic Pieces

If you saw my fall maternity capsule wardrobe, or my regular mom uniform, you probably surmised that these are the clothes I wear most. The clothes for daily activities around the house and with the kids, trips to the playground and the grocery store. The look is polished casual, with comfort and function heavily in mind. But we all get out sometime, no matter how deep we are in the mommy trenches. Maybe you work part time, maybe you belong to a school or community committee, maybe church is a dress up affair, or maybe you want to step things up on date night. Whatever the case, we all need some clothes that go beyond the basics.

In my own experience, there are often two temptations for [mostly stay at home] moms in this department: either this aspect of dressing is ignored, which results in no options and panic for those special occasions, or too much is invested here, and too often in a sort of aspirational spending. I think the key to this dilemna is to find five basic pieces that can be mixed, matched (with each other and pieces from your casual wardrobe) and accessorized to keep you looking up to date and ready for anything.

To do an illustration of these five favorites, I have chosen a color story that really appeals to me - black, navy, white and blush - but there is an endless assortment of color combinations possible to meet other personal tastes and complexions. The five favorite basics are:

the blazer

the cropped pants (matching the blazer)

the pencil skirt 

the sheath dress

pointy pumps

image via polyvore

A few words about the items I have chosen. The blazer and cropped trousers are both from Mango; the jacket has sold out since I made this set last night! There are lots of options out there, get thyself to polyvore and look around! When searching for a blazer that flatters, look for one that has a button at your narrowest point, fits well in the shoulders, isn't too long in the sleeves, and doesn't hit too low on the hips (this is especially important if you are a pear body type). Lined is better than unlined, but it all depends on your budget.

The pencil skirt is from Dorothy Perkins and is a steal at only $21! This is a fairly flattering silhouette more most body types, yet I think alot of young women haven't really tried the pencil skirt. I recommend purchasing one on the inexpensive side first to get an idea of how well it will fit into your life and existing wardrobe. The pencil really is versatile; you can wear it with a blouse or v-neck tee, a sweater (like the semi-cropped one above, also from Dorothy Perkins), or a blazer.

This sheath dress (available in navy, black and cream)  is also from Dorothy Perkins, and again, a steal at only $39! Very elegant in an understated way, the back features an exposed zipper, which I love, and can be dressed up or down, and layered under and over depending on the occasion and weather.

And finally, pointy pumps. I ran into this pair by Nine West at the local outlet mall and I couldn't believe how chic they looked at that price point - $79 online and even cheaper and $20-$30 cheaper at the outlet! They are real leather and available in ten colors! This particular pair has a three inch heel, but there are lower and higher options to suit personal preference. These shoes would look great with each of the three basic bottoms.

Though we are focusing on the five basics, I have included some accessories in the set just to give you an idea of how you could dress up your basics. Pearls are simple, elegant, and great looking cheap options are ubiquitous. I also really love cuff bracelets (see Polyvore set for links) because they are unfussy and bold, and can really tie an outfit together. If you have been reading this blog for awhile, you know how I feel about great bags. This gorgeous blush foldover bag from Zara is 100% leather and comes in at under $100 - my kind of bag.

What do you think? 

Now go see Hallie for more five favorites!

How to Look Expensive: Confidence

As I've mentioned before, this series is about how to put forward the best, most polished image of yourself, while remaining within your budget. Today I want to talk about confidence. I think when life circumstances put us on on a tight budget, there are two possible attitudes we usually adopt. The first is "poor me, how can I expect to look half as good as so and so if I have nothing to spend!" This attitude usually includes some level of self-deprecation and a sense of defeat. The second possible attitude is much different. It is an attitude of can-do, belief in self, resourcefulness and creativity. It recognizes that money doesn't equal personal style, and that attitude is 75% of the equation in the image we project and how we are perceived by others.

So, needless to say, confidence is important. Very important. The funny thing is, when you need it the most it can seemingly vanish into thin air. Furthermore, you cannot be taught confidence, and you cannot generate the feeling just because you want it. But. But. The power is in your hands. The secret is to think the thoughts and go through the outward motions of confidence until yours is real. Let me give you a few techniques I use when I'm not feeling on top of the world.

Pre-preganancy. Obviously.

First, the mental aspect of confidence. I have found that it is helpful to keep a few basic things in mind when feeling less than my best. First, we each think of ourselves first. We are each the center of our own universe, in a sense, and it 's completely normal that our thoughts, actions, and words occupy us. Practical implication of this fact?  Personal insecurities which are magnified to the individual often are unnoticeable to others.

Second, I reflect on the reality that everyone has insecurities. Be it budget, weight, height, shyness or any of the other myriad things we torture ourselves about, no person is completely confident all of the time. I find this thought helpful because it minimizes and makes light of my own insecurities. I also try to remember that we experience others not as parts, but as a wholes, and this is how we come across to those we meet.

There is also the relational aspect of confidence. If I am feeling defeated, the easiest thing to do at work or at a party (or any social situation, really) is to retreat and avoid interaction. It is paradoxical, but one way that we can actually increase our own confidence (and appearance of confidence) is to affirm someone else. Extend an honest compliment to a co-worker. Engage the newcomer at the party in conversation; ask real questions about them and then really listen to their answers. Before you know it, a glow of pleasure and goodwill will be on your face, and there is nothing more attractive than that!

And finally, the physical aspect of confidence. Certain postures intimate self assurance, and I make a point to be conscious of my own body language. Stand with your shoulders back, chest up, and stomach in. Keep your chin up (trust me, this is more than a trite saying!). Smile. Make eye contact. Heck, throw a hand on that hip! Doing these simple things will give the appearance of confidence, and may actually increase the hormones associated with confidence and reduce those related to stress (check out this Harvard Business School article).

So, in conclusion, if you want to look your best, practice thinking and acting with confidence. You should radiate just as much self assurance in an Old Navy dress as you would in couture, on a bad hair day as a good one. You are beautiful and wonderfully made. Act like it!

Wardrobe Building: My Fall Maternity Capsule

Here in Buffalo we have had a few weeks of cool weather (down as low as 50 at night!) and my mind has turned to warmer dressing. Personal stylist that I am, I decided to plan my fall maternity wardrobe. Here is how I did it, and what I ended up with. I hope this helps as you start your own fall planning!

First, I made a Pinterest board of things I like, focusing especially on maternity styles. It became obvious very quickly that I wanted lots of dark neutrals, streamlined looks, and structure around the face (think scarves, necklaces, interesting collars).

Next, I pulled out my bin of maternity clothes that I have collected over the last three pregnancies. I mercilessly discarded anything that was worn out. I also pulled out lots of bottoms that I just haven't worn since my first pregnancy. I gained a bit more weight the first time around (mainly because I wasn't always chasing toddlers), and have kept these pants "just in case." Well, I haven't needed them thus far, and they are taking up too much space. I created a pile to consign at a local maternity store. Hopefully I will make some $$ for my wish list!

Now that so many useless (to me) items were cleared out of the way, I could see that I had more great pieces than I originally believed. By working in some of my non-maternity items, I came up with an eight piece  (plus accessories and shoes) capsule wardrobe that should see me through the fall and into winter. Many of my items aren't available since they were purchased previously, but I have found similar versions, in case you want to replicate the look.

THE CAPSULE

Black Blazer (non-maternity)

Long Sleeve Tees in navy and black (maternity)

Black Turtleneck (maternity)

Boyfriend V-neck Tees (non-maternity)

Old Navy Demi-Panel Slim Boot-Cut Jeans (in Dark Wash)

Old Navy Smooth Panel Skinny Jeans (in Black)

Twill Wrap

Wide Black Stretch Belt (this is just one choice, wide stretch belts are everywhere)

Fugu Malibu Booties (I just realized these are no longer available, somewhat similar here)

THE WISH LIST

In addition to this capsule, I created a wish list of sorts, items that I need (new flats and full panel pants) or just want (statement necklace and watch). Now I know where to spend the money in my clothing budget, and my how to allocate any bonus cash that comes my way (come on consignment!).

The perfect black or camel pointy toe leather flat (picky, who me?!). My favorite flats wore out in the spring, and I want a pair with a pointed toe and a deep cut foot opening (think toe cleavage). Both features serve to elongate the the line of the body,  and give an elegant look to the foot. I like the look of the shoe below, the only problem is that the leather is vegan. The search continues.

A statement necklace.  I usually go very low key with accessories, but this wardrobe is super simple, and I want to draw attention up to my face. A statement necklace is a great way to do just that. The Banana Republic Silver Link Necklace is taunting me, but a word to the wise: Never pay full price at BR. They frequently have percentage off days, often up to 40% (couple that with the item going on sale, and hot damn!).

A man's watch. Not just any watch. I have my eye on my husband's Seiko Arctura Kinetic watch, which is a fool's dream because he wears it every day. Why a big watch? I have long arms and thin wrists, and a big ol' watch would draw attention to that feature, one of the few that doesn't expand as the weeks go by.

Dark wash jeans with a full belly panel. Once my belly reaches a certain girth, I just like the comfort of a full panel. I'm in the market for a great fitting pair in a really dark wash. And I want to be able to try them on before I purchase, so I'll probably hit up the local maternity places (meaning Old Navy, H & M, and maybe Motherhood) first. I've kind of got my eye on this pair, if the flare isn't too extreme and the wash is decently dark.

What do you think? Want to read more about budget wardrobe building? Check out these posts!